Stuck....literally.

If you are looking for some deep thoughts about how I am stuck in life, you might want to stop reading here.

Oh good, you kept reading. Let me tell you about something that happened today at work. If a copier or printer breaks down at work, they call me. If there is a paper jam, they call me. When I get the call, I usually grab my letter opener (magic unjamming tool) and head to the machine. Today, two of our student employees said there was a jam and needed help, so I grabbed my letter opener and headed to the machine. BTW, this is a huge machine that is used by the whole main floor of the building I work in.

Yeah, I put my arm in here. Don't judge me.

The paper jam was one I have not seen in the 2 1/2 years at my current job. The paper was really crumpled and stuck in the farthest corner from any opening in the copier. I pulled open every drawer and door.....still couldn't reach it.....even with my magic tool. I thought for about 10 seconds and then decided that there was only one way to get it, reach for it. **Disclaimer - I was smart enough to turn the machine off. I did not need a bad perm. I had a few of those in the 80's.

I reached in to my elbow and got to the paper with my fingertips  and moved it to a place where one of the students could get it. I was feeling great about conquering another jam. (can you add unjamming to a resume?) I started to pull my arm out and it wouldn't move. At all. I pulled and pulled and nothing happened. I started to panic thinking that someone would have to call 911 to pull my arm out of the copier. It was like the copier was a pit bull and it wouldn't let go. As I started to panic, here's what went through my mind.....don't panic because your arm will swell up....all i need is some oil or butter and i can be free....omg, i am going to ruin this copier and never get paid again....what are we going to have for dinner.  I was so focused on releasing my arm that it was like childbirth. I didn't even realize there were two people in the room with me. 

That's gonna leave a mark.

I finally moved my arm to the left and was able to get free. I wanted to scream "free at last, free at last" but instead I said to the two students who were with me, "I may be fat, but I've got skinny arms." How dumb was that. I think it was the shock talking. Can you get workman's comp for dumb?

Just in case you wanted to know, this whole scenario lasted about 2 minutes. Longest 2 minutes of my day. I had to immediately heytell Flint and Sand to laugh about this...and we did.

--Glue

Who's your Catfish??

This  weekend I watched a VERY interesting documentary called Catfish. I am a fan of documentaries and it is really the only reason I keep HBO. They always air great thought provoking documetaries. Well, Catfish was not on HBO. I saw the trailer before a movie in the the theater. It looked very Blair Witch, so I filed that away to see when released. I must have missed it, but a friend of mine was telling me about it, so my sweetie and I decided to get it on pay per view. The movie was a hit at Sundance.The subject matters is one we should all be aware of. It is about a young NYC photographer who is befriended by an 8 yr old artist who lives in Michigan. Thru that friendship, the photographer becomes Facebook friends with the girl's mother, father, sister, brother and family friends. Again, this is a documentary, but watching it you think this is completely scripted, or is it? It can't be, but it is! Or is it?!! I say watch it. Let me know your thoughts. The moral of the story is, always make sure the friends you make on Facebook are really your friends. I am proud to say, that I RARELY friend anyone that I do not know or have not met. In fact, I prefer to be friends with my friends. CRAZY I know. Well, anyway, there was a line in the move from where the title came from. It was a story about how cargo ships from Alaska took loads of carp to China. By the time the ships would get to China, the carp would have mush flesh and be tasteless. Someone had an idea to put catfish into the vat with the carp. The catfish would nip at the fins of the carp and keep them moving and agile. It goes on to say that there are people in our lives that are the catfish. They keep us on our toes, keep us moving, thinking and fresh.  
Who are the catfish in our lives??

My catfish are clearly my girls and my Sweetheart. When I was newly divorced, I was very depressed and hopeless. My girls kept me moving, kept me from turning to mush. I then met my sweetheart, who nipped at my fins on those days my girls were gone with their dad. He did not let me sit around feeling sorry for myself, and gave me the positive reinforcement I needed to be the best carp I could be.

My boss is another catfish in the vat of my life. She keeps me on my toes, she keeps me thinking and on the move. I appreciate the challenges she throws my way. There is never time to turn to mush working with her.

So who are the catfish in your lives? I hope we have at least one catfish in our tank!

So the LOVE it item for the week:
Words with Friends App- it seems to be the rage with my sixteen year old and her high school friends. Little do they know that Glue and I have been playing it for over a year. Anyway, if I had asked my daughter to play me Scrabble, she never would have. Now she will play me Scrabble, only it is called Words with Friends. I am proud to say that she actually beat me on our third game! She is a chip off the old block!

HATE it item of the week:
The Earthquake and Tsunami that ravaged Japan. Like life isn't tough enough ,then to have mother nature come in and turn their world upside down? I feel for all those innocent people who woke up that day never suspecting the nightmare that was around the corner. Now they are dealing with countless aftershocks and radiation leaks? Meanwhile, Charlie Sheen sells out live shows to hear him complain about getting fired from a million dollar a day job. Winner. Hate it!

Introducing.........Flint!

So, let me finally introduce myself.  I’m Flint! There are several definitions and uses of flint.  When I claimed this name I was thinking of the most obvious, a hard stone especially used for striking fire.  I like to get the party started.  I’m filled with great ideas, love to bring people together for memorable experiences and build the hype of the upcoming event!  The thing that probably bugs Glue, Sand, and who knows how many other people, is that I have a new idea every day!  If I had Paris Hilton’s money, and Charlie Sheen’s “insomnia,” nobody could keep up with me, but I’d keep it relatively innocent,  just a few glasses of Opolo Zin and we’d laugh about Sheen, perimenopause (which I’m experiencing), laser hair removal,  all of the Brandens in my classes, all things reality television, and Modern Family.  If you’re ever invited….you should come!  You might have to finish the planning, but Glue and Sand will help you with that!    

                I don’t shop much, I’m a creature of habit, and I eat the same thing every time I go to Taco Bell.  That being said, I don’t think I’m going to be the one to give weekly picks.   I’m not actually sure what I’ll contribute to this little gem, but I’ll give it a go.   Here’s a few of the exciting ideas I’ve had over the years……..

                ~Opening a Franchise of “Butterfly Life” with Glue……that was an incomplete plan that was WAY better left undone, but I think we got snacks for going to the presentation….most things we do include snacks!

                ~Weight  Watchers  at least 4 times…..at least twice with Glue.  We’d go weigh in, then eat lunch at Sal’s! I really just wanted to hang out with her because we never cease to have things to laugh about!

                ~Mary Kay………….which included Glue!  I did relatively well at that one!  We traveled, laughed and peed our pants a whole lot too! And then she saved me from it!

                ~That Labor Day camping trip which I nearly forced Glue and Sand to join me in!  And the party grew from there!  That one worked out great!  And I did end up doing some of that leg work!

                ~Going back to school at 43 to get my teaching credential.  Nobody helped me with that one (that’s not really true because both of these friends were online with me during endless hours of homework), but Glue and Sand both helped me with it today.  They helped me process the fact that my contract will not be renewed for next school year.  No…..they don’t have to give you a reason.  I can’t really air my personal thoughts about why this happened until school is out (and believe me I can’t wait for that day).  Glue listens to every angry and tearful word until I’m sure she’s ready to hang up on me.  Today, Sand got me fired up enough to give it one last try at redeeming myself AND most importantly reminded me of the Indian Nose Flute player!  Priceless!  These women are irreplaceable in my life!  As I walk through this journey (I’ve NEVER been, in essence, fired before) one of them will make me laugh while the other is telling me to buck up!  I hope they keep buying into my ideas, joining me on the excursions and including me in theirs! 

Can you spare a square??

I was a big fan of the Seinfeld Show. Yes, I was barely a teenager when it was on years ago, but my humor was advanced. Anyway, there was a favorite episode where Elaine is in the bathroom of the diner, and she needed someone to "spare a square" as her stall had no toilet tissue. The person in the next stall would not "spare the square". Elaine of course was outraged. I do not even want to imagine what she ended up doing without the square. Okay, okay it was t.v.  Don't you wonder what you would do if you were ever in those same circumstances? Say, you were on Real Housewives of NY and Ramona walked the cat walk in front of you with those crazy eyes...wouldn't you just bust out laughing?

Well........ I was in Borders feeding my addiction one night. I was with my youngest daughter and my other two young daughters (aka my boyfriend's kids). I told them I needed to use the restroom and would be back. My other daughter said she wanted to go, but got quickly sidetracked and was going to follow me in a minute. When I walked in, there was a stall "out of order", an occupied stall, and the handicapped stall. Well, being that I had to go, I used the handicapped stall, really, doesn't everyone??  As soon as I was able to sanitize and protect the area with every liner that could be found, my purse placed on the highest of hooks....I heard a voice from the next stall. Now, I am very funny about public restrooms. I do not like anyone to be in the area if at all possible, a sort of stage fright issue. I do not like anyone to talk to me over the wall. I do not wait for a stall, unless I am at a U2 concert and the only other option is the "Kill me first" port-a potty. I will never speak to you again if you actually talk to someone on your cell phone in the stall and FIRST AND FOREMOST... if you leave without washing your hands...I will memorize those shoes, find you and then memorize your face. Quirky? Yes. But I work in an office of potlucks, and it is imperative to know which dishes to eat and which not to eat. In fact, I am not above asigning drinks and chips to those with offending shoes.   But I have wandered off my story....   So, I hear "Excuse me..Excuse me???", Freaked out, I answer, "Yes??". The person then asks if there is any toilet paper in my stall and if I could possibly give her some?  This lady single handedly violated at least three of my rules. I was torn about what to do. There was only the one role in my stall. It was clear this person would be in her stall for a bit more time...eh hem, and my other daughter would be coming in to use the restroom.  I told her that I would pass her some after I used what I needed, but then I was so torn...do I go out and wash my hands first?? Do I tell her "no", so there is some for then next person? Should she be taught a lesson for not first assessing the situation before conducting herself, (not to mention breaking my rules)? Am I psychotic? Don't answer that!
Well... I did something out of character for me and took the high road. I took a large amount of paper and placed it in the now empty dispenser and handed her waiting hand the roll. The germs that passed between us sickened me, but even Jesus ate with the lepers. Haha! I have no idea if he did. Did he?  I did memorize the shoes and spotted the lady later perusing the non-fiction section. She had a huge diamond on her hand, stylish haircut, but dispicable bathroom habits. I kid, I kid. 
I lived out a real life Sienfeld episode, sparing a square.

My LOVE it item of the week:
Ham off the Bone in the deli section of your grocery store. I had NEVER heard of it, until one day getting sliced turkey for my primadonnas' lunch. My spoiled brats will not eat packaged lunch meats, they want sliced meats from the deli. Well, someone in line ahead of me ordered this and offered me a taste. It was love at first bite! It tastes just like Easter ham!! I rolled the dice ordered some and snuck it in the brats lunch. Those girls have been sold ever since!!! Now my guy and his kids are sold too! Try a sample..you will be in HEAVEN!!

My Hate it Item of the week:
Mr. Clean Magic Eraser Sponges. I want my money back. The sponge fell apart after the first use, I saw NOTHING special about it, and no messes were erased. BOOOO!!!  A regular sponge and elbow grease worked a whole lot better.

Okay I am off to stalk the People of Walmart!!

We are now up to 5 followers, although this off color blog may cost us all 5. Can't help it, I have Tiger Blood in me. Haha!

-Sand

I'm a blog stalker...

Okay, so maybe stalker sounds kinda creepy, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE reading blogs. I think it is kind of like my obsession with reality tv.....you get to peek into someone else's life from a distance. So, what blogs do I like? I'm glad you asked. Here are a few of my faves:

http://myparentswereawesome.tumblr.com/  Fun look at other people's parents when they were cool.

http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/  The life of a woman literally burned to almost death and her recovery. She also has the four cutest kids.

http://www.kevinandamanda.com/  I just like it, that's all.

http://nicksshibboleth.com/   My friend Nick's blog. He always has something challenging for ya.

http://iheartfresnoca.com/  Because I heart Fresno, duh.

http://crockpot365.blogspot.com/  This website started the love for my crockpot.

http://www.kenkienow.com/  Awesome photographer. (I also have a thing for looking at wedding photos)

http://marianofriginal.com/  Yet another awesome photographer who is also a really nice guy.

http://failblog.org/  You just need to visit once to be hooked.

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/  I think everyone has a photo to submit to this website.

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/  This is Sand's favorite site. The name says it all

http://www.hip2save.com/  Who loves a deal or something free? ME!

http://pieloveyou.blogspot.com/  Any kid of pie you would ever want to make.

http://www.remodelaholic.com/  I can get lost here for hours.

http://thepioneerwoman.com/  I saved one of the best for last. I discovered this website while recovering from gall bladder surgery. It made my week pass quickly.

Well, these are just a few of the sites I frequent. I'd love to know what blogs you love so I can stalk read them too, so please leave a comment and share. Here's to a fabulous weekend!

--Glue

P.S. Here's a shoutout to our 4 followers!!! 

An Ode to John...

It's Oscars night and I was thinking back to my first celebrity crush. It started in the 6th grade and I even have a scrapbook to prove it. My crush was on John Travolta. Yeah, he was the business back then.

My crush started while watching a show called "Welcome Back Kotter" and then intensified when I watched "Saturday Night Fever". This movie was all the rage back in the disco days. Man, I really wanted to be able to dance like those in the movie. I think I still secretly do. I wanted to be Stephanie, never Donna. (You'll know what that means if you've ever seen it) I'll never forget the day that my mom said it was okay to see the movie. We were only 12 and it was rated "R". She dropped us off at front of the movie theater and yelled from the car "it's okay for them to see it" and they let us right in. When I look back now, that movie was a VERY adult movie, but in my 12 year old mind, it was the best day ever!

Let's see, I can't forget to mention "Urban Cowboy". I think I was in 9th grade by then and I think I wore out that soundtrack on cassette. I wanted to be Bud's Sissy. A few years back I made my daughter watch Urban Cowboy with me. I couldn't wait for her to see the part where Bud puts Sissy's name plate back into the window of his truck. She wasn't moved like I was.

The last two that I will mention is "The Boy In The Plastic Bubble" and "Grease". Grease is the word! I'm thinking Lifetime should have a John Travolta movie marathon soon. I would gladly stay in my pj's and watch all day long.

It seems like John has done okay for himself over the years. I'm glad to say that I've been a fan since the beginning.

Speak now.....

I am a straight shooter and loud mouth. Rarely do I mince words..........unless it is with people I love.
But shouldn't it be with the people you love that you are the most honest with?
I found myself recently keeping what I really wanted to say inside. I think for me, it shows how much I care about someone when I actually keep my mouth shut. It means I care about their feelings more than unloading my issues, preferences and opinions on them. It is a fine line to walk. Putting your thoughts and feelings before someone elses, yet taking the chance that if you do not say something, you may one day wish you had.  What I finally realized is that speaking now or forever holding your peace is probably the best policy. When you care about someone and vice versa, it can only be taken as a way of making the relationship stronger and healthier. This goes for everyone we care about..our kids, moms, friends, lovers, spouses.
I am thankful for the people in my life who are honest with me and listen. Glue talked me off the ledge when I was having an ugly day. She picked up the phone, told me the zit on my face wasn't as bad as I thought it was and encouraged me to meet my man for lunch. She gave me the confidence I needed and I was glad to hear it and glad I listened. I am so thankful for the man in my life that puts up with the thorns in anticipation of the rose. We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.  Oh...and he always says the zits on my face aren't as bad as I think they are. Now THAT is love!

-Sand
Happy Valentine's Day* Everyone!!  *That is another blog for another day!

Okay here is my recommendation of the week:
As I honestly admitted above, I suffer from adult acne. No sense in hiding from it, EVERYONE can see it. I have been to dermatologist after dermatologist, all with short term fixes. As a teenager I used this stuff called Lulu lotion. It was the magical cure, but it went off the market, similar to checker board ice cream. Remember that??  Anyway, I found an ad for Mario Badescu products. I purchased the acne repair kit and it did what Pro-activ could not!!! It has a product that is exactly like Lulu lotion. So far....so good. If you have a teen ager or know ANYONE who suffers from acne..I feel their pain...but please recommend these products!! 

P.S. The Social Network was a phenomenal movie!!! Aaron Sorkin did not disappoint!! Love him!