Stuck....literally.

If you are looking for some deep thoughts about how I am stuck in life, you might want to stop reading here.

Oh good, you kept reading. Let me tell you about something that happened today at work. If a copier or printer breaks down at work, they call me. If there is a paper jam, they call me. When I get the call, I usually grab my letter opener (magic unjamming tool) and head to the machine. Today, two of our student employees said there was a jam and needed help, so I grabbed my letter opener and headed to the machine. BTW, this is a huge machine that is used by the whole main floor of the building I work in.

Yeah, I put my arm in here. Don't judge me.

The paper jam was one I have not seen in the 2 1/2 years at my current job. The paper was really crumpled and stuck in the farthest corner from any opening in the copier. I pulled open every drawer and door.....still couldn't reach it.....even with my magic tool. I thought for about 10 seconds and then decided that there was only one way to get it, reach for it. **Disclaimer - I was smart enough to turn the machine off. I did not need a bad perm. I had a few of those in the 80's.

I reached in to my elbow and got to the paper with my fingertips  and moved it to a place where one of the students could get it. I was feeling great about conquering another jam. (can you add unjamming to a resume?) I started to pull my arm out and it wouldn't move. At all. I pulled and pulled and nothing happened. I started to panic thinking that someone would have to call 911 to pull my arm out of the copier. It was like the copier was a pit bull and it wouldn't let go. As I started to panic, here's what went through my mind.....don't panic because your arm will swell up....all i need is some oil or butter and i can be free....omg, i am going to ruin this copier and never get paid again....what are we going to have for dinner.  I was so focused on releasing my arm that it was like childbirth. I didn't even realize there were two people in the room with me. 

That's gonna leave a mark.

I finally moved my arm to the left and was able to get free. I wanted to scream "free at last, free at last" but instead I said to the two students who were with me, "I may be fat, but I've got skinny arms." How dumb was that. I think it was the shock talking. Can you get workman's comp for dumb?

Just in case you wanted to know, this whole scenario lasted about 2 minutes. Longest 2 minutes of my day. I had to immediately heytell Flint and Sand to laugh about this...and we did.

--Glue