Can you spare a square??

I was a big fan of the Seinfeld Show. Yes, I was barely a teenager when it was on years ago, but my humor was advanced. Anyway, there was a favorite episode where Elaine is in the bathroom of the diner, and she needed someone to "spare a square" as her stall had no toilet tissue. The person in the next stall would not "spare the square". Elaine of course was outraged. I do not even want to imagine what she ended up doing without the square. Okay, okay it was t.v.  Don't you wonder what you would do if you were ever in those same circumstances? Say, you were on Real Housewives of NY and Ramona walked the cat walk in front of you with those crazy eyes...wouldn't you just bust out laughing?

Well........ I was in Borders feeding my addiction one night. I was with my youngest daughter and my other two young daughters (aka my boyfriend's kids). I told them I needed to use the restroom and would be back. My other daughter said she wanted to go, but got quickly sidetracked and was going to follow me in a minute. When I walked in, there was a stall "out of order", an occupied stall, and the handicapped stall. Well, being that I had to go, I used the handicapped stall, really, doesn't everyone??  As soon as I was able to sanitize and protect the area with every liner that could be found, my purse placed on the highest of hooks....I heard a voice from the next stall. Now, I am very funny about public restrooms. I do not like anyone to be in the area if at all possible, a sort of stage fright issue. I do not like anyone to talk to me over the wall. I do not wait for a stall, unless I am at a U2 concert and the only other option is the "Kill me first" port-a potty. I will never speak to you again if you actually talk to someone on your cell phone in the stall and FIRST AND FOREMOST... if you leave without washing your hands...I will memorize those shoes, find you and then memorize your face. Quirky? Yes. But I work in an office of potlucks, and it is imperative to know which dishes to eat and which not to eat. In fact, I am not above asigning drinks and chips to those with offending shoes.   But I have wandered off my story....   So, I hear "Excuse me..Excuse me???", Freaked out, I answer, "Yes??". The person then asks if there is any toilet paper in my stall and if I could possibly give her some?  This lady single handedly violated at least three of my rules. I was torn about what to do. There was only the one role in my stall. It was clear this person would be in her stall for a bit more time...eh hem, and my other daughter would be coming in to use the restroom.  I told her that I would pass her some after I used what I needed, but then I was so torn...do I go out and wash my hands first?? Do I tell her "no", so there is some for then next person? Should she be taught a lesson for not first assessing the situation before conducting herself, (not to mention breaking my rules)? Am I psychotic? Don't answer that!
Well... I did something out of character for me and took the high road. I took a large amount of paper and placed it in the now empty dispenser and handed her waiting hand the roll. The germs that passed between us sickened me, but even Jesus ate with the lepers. Haha! I have no idea if he did. Did he?  I did memorize the shoes and spotted the lady later perusing the non-fiction section. She had a huge diamond on her hand, stylish haircut, but dispicable bathroom habits. I kid, I kid. 
I lived out a real life Sienfeld episode, sparing a square.

My LOVE it item of the week:
Ham off the Bone in the deli section of your grocery store. I had NEVER heard of it, until one day getting sliced turkey for my primadonnas' lunch. My spoiled brats will not eat packaged lunch meats, they want sliced meats from the deli. Well, someone in line ahead of me ordered this and offered me a taste. It was love at first bite! It tastes just like Easter ham!! I rolled the dice ordered some and snuck it in the brats lunch. Those girls have been sold ever since!!! Now my guy and his kids are sold too! Try a sample..you will be in HEAVEN!!

My Hate it Item of the week:
Mr. Clean Magic Eraser Sponges. I want my money back. The sponge fell apart after the first use, I saw NOTHING special about it, and no messes were erased. BOOOO!!!  A regular sponge and elbow grease worked a whole lot better.

Okay I am off to stalk the People of Walmart!!

We are now up to 5 followers, although this off color blog may cost us all 5. Can't help it, I have Tiger Blood in me. Haha!

-Sand